LUCU !! Satu Tahun Nikah Minta Cerai Karena P4ntat Istri Hitam, Begini Ceritanya

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KabarKadal - JIKA cintanya total, kondisi apapun istri pasti diterima. Tapi Suwardjo, 31, tidak begitu. Tahu istrinya, Rini, 26, berp4nt4t hitam, setahun menikah hanya sekali disentuh di m4l4m pertama. Sejak itu Rini tak pernah dilongok dan akhirnya Suwardjo menggugat cerai lewat Pengadilan Agama Surabaya.

“Kelelawar sayapnya hitam, terbang rendah di tengah malam, pagi-pagi mereka pulang…..,” begitu lagu Koes Plus tahun 1970-an. Sampai sekarang, meski hanya urusan kelelawar hitam, banyak yang menggemari. Bahkan banyak juga kelompok yang secara periodik bertemu hanya untuk menikmati lagu-lagu Ku=oes Plus, Lalu bagaimana jika yang hitam p4nt4t istri? Kecewakah sebagai suaminya? Tega pula menceraikan hanya urusan itu?

Bagi Suwardjo warga Karah Surabaya, kenapa tidak? Belum lama ini dia tega membawa istrinya ke Pengadilan Agama untuk bercerai, hanya karena urusan p4nt4t istri yang hitam. Padahal maunya Suwardjo, p4nt4t istri itu kuning atau cenderung putih macam bakpao isi kacang ijo.

Setahun lalu Suwardjo yang menjadi guru SD itu menikah dengan Rini, pegawai bank BUMN. Mereka sudah pacaran dua tahun, dan rupanya meski pacaran begitu lama Suwardjo tidak pernah “studi kelayakan” atas calon istrinya, sehingga ketika resmi nikah di depan penghulu, rasanya Suwardjo seperti beli kucing dalam karung saja. Belum tahu bagaimana dalamnya, apa lagi mendalami.

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Seperti lazimnya pengantin baru, setelah resmi menikah malam harinya Suwardjo – Rini menggelar m4l4m pertama dengan penuh gegap gempita. Kebetulan malam itu ada pertandingan bola luar negeri, sehingga seluruh anggota keluarga pada sibuk nonton bola, tapi Suwardjo tidak, karena sibuk dengan urusan pribadinya. Maka yang terjadi kemudian, bola di TV belum ada juga yang berhasil menyarangkan bola ke gawang lawan, bola Suwardjo sudah gol duluan.

Sayangnya, hanya sekali itu saja Suwardjo memberikan nafkah batin buat istrinya. Sejak itu, meski tinggal serumah dan ser4njang, Rini sama sekali tak pernah disentuh. Mereka tidur sendiri-sendiri. Ketika istri jowal-jawil mengajak, Suwardjo malah berkata ketus, “Memangnya saya kondektur bis, apa?”

Rini heran, kenapa suami tak mau memberikan nafkah batin lanjutan sebagaimana layaknya suami istri. Tapi Suwardjo tak pernah memberi jawaban yang gamblang. Dia hanya muter-muter cari alasan, persis pengacara sedang membela kliennya. Bohong besar kecil tak masalah, yang penting menang.

Tiba-tiba belum lama ini Suwardjo membawa istrinya ke Pengadilan Agama Surabaya, untuk mendaftarkan gugatan cerai. Ketika sidang, majelis hakim pun terheran-heran karena Suwardjo tak bisa menjelaskan apa alasan bercerainya. Jika alasannya Suwardjo tak memenuhi kewajibannnya sebagai lelaki, mestinya yang melayangkan gugatan pihak istri.

Karena hakim terus mendesak untuk memberi alasan perceraian, lama-lama Suwardjo mau buka kartu. “Maaf yang mulia, saya terpaksa menceraikan istri, karena dia berb0k0ng hitam. Saya tak selera jadinya, sehingga ngedrop melulu kaya HP yang baterainya sudah hamil.”, kata Suwardjo.

Tentu saja majelis hakim bingung, masak alasannya tidak logis sama sekali. Namanya orang berumahtangga, pasti saling mencintai. Sedangkan orang mencintai itu pasti bisa menerima segala kekurangan pasangannya. Akhirnya majelis hakim menguliahi Suwardjo tentang makna cinta bagi suami istri. Tapi Suwardjo tak bergeming.

Baca juga: Gadis 18 th Ini Merasa Daerah K3m4luannya Tidak Nyaman dan Pergi Ke Dokter, Waktu Diperiksa, Dokter Cuman Bisa Kaget dan Melongo...

Kini yang tersinggung justru Rini. Urusan p4nt4t hitam saja kok dibikin ribut. Itu kerata api kepala hitam, dulu juga ditunggu orang. Maka katanya kemudian pada majelis hakim, “Sudahlah Pak Hakim, saya rela diceraikan. Seperti dianya paling ganteng saja. Wong dia sendiri juga berkulit hitam.” Kata Rini.

Hitam kaya tiang telepon ya mbak ya? (JPNN/Gunarso TS)[Sumber : poskotanews.com]

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